Favourite Woody Allen quotes!

[mixed]

Tell us your favourite quotes from any of Woodys films...
Here are some I like:

Isaac Davis: It's an interesting group of people, your friends are.
Mary Wilke: I know.
Isaac Davis: Like the cast of a Fellini movie.

Alvy Singer: What's with all these awards? They're always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.

Ok they were the best i could think of right now. List more!

[criterionmaster]

I can't remember it to good but something like I am standing with the cast of the Godfather out here or something? lol I always find that funny.

[agentknight]

Man: We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday. It is not one of his best. It lacks a cohesive structure. You know, you get the feeling that he's not absolutely sure what it is he wants to say. 'Course, I've always felt he was essentially a-a technical film maker. Granted, La Strada was a great film. Great in its use of negative energy more than anything else. But that simple
cohesive core ...
Alvy: I'm-I'm-I'm gonna have a stroke.
Annie: Well, stop listening to him.
Man: You know, it must need to have had its leading from one thought to another. You know what I'm talking about?
Alvy: He's screaming his opinions in my ear.
Man: Like all that Juliet of the Spirits or Satyricon, I found it incredibly ... indulgent. You know, he really is. He's one of the most indulgent film makers. He really is-
Alvy: Key word here is "indulgent."
Man: -without getting ... well, let's put it this way ...
Alvy (to Annie): What are you depressed about?
Annie: I missed my therapy. I overslept.
Alvy: How can you possibly oversleep?
Annie: The alarm clock.
Alvy: You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
Annie: I know-because of our sexual problem, right?
Alvy: Hey, you ... everybody in line at the New Yorker has to know our rate of intercourse?
Man: - It's like Samuel Beckett, you know- I admire the technique but he doesn't ... he doesn't hit me on a gut level.
Alvy (to Annie): I'd like to hit this guy on a gut level.
Annie: Stop it, Alvy!
Alvy: Well, he's spitting on my neck! You know, he's spitting on my neck when he talks.
Man: And then, the most important thing of all is a comedian's vision.
Annie: And you know something else? You know, you're so egocentric that if I miss my
therapy you can think of it in terms of how it affects you!
Man: Gal gun-shy is what it is.
Alvy: Probably on their first date, right?
Man: It's a narrow view.
Alvy: Probably met by answering an ad in the New York Review of Books. "Thirtyish academic wishes to meet woman who's interested in Mozart, James Joyce and sodomy." (to Annie) Whatta you mean, our sexual problem?
Annie: Oh!
Alvy: I-I-I mean, I'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
Annie: Okay, I'm very sorry. My sexual problem! Okay, my sexual problem! Huh?
(a man turns and looks at them curiously)
Alvy: I never read that. That was-that was Henry James, right? Novel, uh, the sequel to Turn of the Screw? My Sexual ...
Man (Even louder) : It's the influence of television. Yeah, now Marshall McLuhan deals with it in terms of it being a-a high, uh, high intensity, you understand? A hot medium ... as opposed
to a ...
Alvy: What I wouldn't give for a large sock of horse manure.
Man: ... as opposed to a print ...
Alvy (to the camera): What do you do when you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind you? I mean, it's just maddening!
Man (now also facing the camera): Wait a minute, why can't I give my opinion? It's a free country!
Alvy: I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren't you ashamed to pontificate like that? And-and the funny part of it is, Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan's work!
Man: Wait a minute! Really? Really? I happen to teach a class at Columbia called "TV Media and Culture"! So I think that my insights into Mr. McLuhan-well, have a great deal of validity.
Alvy: Oh, do yuh?
Man: Yes.
Alvy: Well, that's funny, because I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here. So ... so, here, just let me-I mean, all right. Come over here a second.
(Alvy moves over to a large stand-up movie poster and pulls Marshall McLuban from behind the poster.)
Man: Oh.
Alvy (To McLuban): Tell him.
McLuban (To the man in line): I hear-I heard what you were saying. You-you know nothing of my work. You mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you ever got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing.
Alvy: Boy, if life were only like this!

[mixed]

Heh thats a great scene.

[satantangofan]

From Sleeper (1973)

Are there any strange animals that I should know about around here? Anything weird and futuristic, like with the body of a crab and the head of a social worker?