Battle of the Worst DVD Covers

[ie]

criterionmaster and I think maybe one or two other people besides me expressed interest in a kind of thread with a list of the worst DVD covers. How about we make it a BATTLE OF THE DEATH?

Now, this battle is not to determine which movie is worse.

So everyone who has an opinion can vote. If one cover makes you vomit and the other makes you wince in pain, well, you can vote for the one that makes you vomit, because over the course of these battles that someone else might have to seed or whatever, we all want to vote for the most pain and vomit inducing, horrible stinky DVD cover evaaaar.


Let's begin a list:

The Prestige
Cowboy Bebop: the Movie (original cover)
Silence of the Lambs (criterion collection)
Brick (Region 1)
District B13
Umberto D (criterion collection)


That's all I can think of at the moment.

[kiddo]

Your crazy ie!?

The Umbero D cover is nowhere near being ugly. Same with The Prestige, although I can understand that choice to a much larger degree.

I'll try to find a horrible dvd-cover...

[ie]

Just slightly.


I explained my thoughts on the Umberto D Criterion Collection DVD cover a while ago, but basically, it doesn't represent the movie well. You don't really get a sense of what it's about; it's just a failed art school photograph.


Here are some more bad DVD covers:

Crash (2004)
Elephant Man (looked like a quick print of a not really great picture to me)
Kalifornia


And, that's about all I can think of right now.

[eatawiiner]

District B13. It honest to good looks like a photoshopped PS2 joke cover. I cant think of anythign that looks worse than this.

[ie]

Well, the thing that really hurt the cover most was that someone was photoshopped into the lower center of the cover. Before that, it was just cheesy over-the-top badness, but after that, it was cheesy over-the-top badness with a bad photoshop job.

[Cacodyl]

Heat - its not ugly but its the first 1 that came to mind. And it merits a description as even slightly ugly simply because of this imbecilic tagline: "A Los Angeles Crime Saga".

Also, Hook in a VHS box that is 17 years old.

[ie]

Oh yeah, gotta mention Who Killed the Electric Car?. When ever I see the cover, I think a substandard CGI animated movie, when in fact it's probably a pretty good documentary.

[misterbalco]

^I think you had the 20,000th post there sport.

[ie]

Oh man, I had an actual 20,000 GET and I didn't even know it?

This was 20,000:

evan said:

Man With the Movie Camera

[ie]

New contender: Babel

It came so close to working too, but the end result was ugly and saddening.

[captainofbeef]

That Brad Pitt's best performance things is awful.

[ie]

That too. If a DVD cover has some bullshit hype, then you know it's a bad cover. It's almost an automatic thing. Who cares what some reviewer no one's ever heard of thinks?

It's a little more classy if you get a big name reviewer on the cover, but still, you have to do it classy. Otherwise it just looks cheap.

[sacrilegend]

The Elephant Man cover wasn't that bad! I think it represented the movie well. It was better than smacking his face on the front, in my opinion.

A few of the sickest covers for me were the Chucky stuff. Urrrggghh...

[agentknight]

[ie]

The cover for the Elephant Man looked like it was drawn in like five minutes. I was under the impression that there was another cover, so when I ordered it and received the one that looked like a sketch, it seemed rather sad.


Oh yeah, all of those Rolling Thunder Picture covers featuring Tarantino's mug are sad covers.


Color Me Kubrick. I don't like all the neon pinku.

[sacrilegend]

Show me a picture of the one you have?

[criterionmaster]

Yeah, there is really nothing too wrong with it (in my opinion). Unlike this.

[criterionmaster]

[dontdigonswine]

Nooo, they can't ruin the cover of THIS movie. I was hoping for something more to do with the space bubble, just ... it looks like the cover of some epic war movie or something. Ugh

[sacrilegend]

This probably means thta a lot less people are going to see this beautiful movie! UgghhhH! It's disgusting.

[kiddo]

What? I thought most people wanted huge, epic war films, and not an existence-philosophical journey beyond time. Now, I haven't seen The Fountain, but I have a feeling I'm close to the centre (?).

Now, this cover is suitable for this thread:




Oh well, maybe not one of the worst, but nevertheless pretty ugly...

And check this bitch out:

[sacrilegend]

...or they'd see it for the wrong reasons.

My computer won't show the first picture you posted, Endre.

[kiddo]

Do you see it now?

(it's not THAT ugly, really, but not exactly nice either, in my opinion)

[ie]

It's true. It's true!



That cover for the Fountain is so horrible that if I were to hurl on the DVD cover, which is not entirely unrealistic, it may actually look better.

Rachel Weisz looks like she's some kind of mystic mentally-disabled woman that is looking around for a better DVD cover and Hugh Jackman looks like a carbon copy of Jim Carry, in his role in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, so while both movies are good, people may see the cover and think "oh, it's gonna be like that movie Jim Carry was in where he wasn't a nutjob." Then they'll be sorely disappointed, hate it. Everything will end up in tears, I just know it.

It's getting to a point now where there are really great new movies coming out on DVD, but I won't buy them because their covers are so poorly done. I mean, what the hell? Do they want to promote piracy or something?

edit: looks like the cover for Tristan and Isolde. Guess that's why they wanted to ditch the poster that would have made this an insta-buy.

[Evan]

I actually own that CD. Not too shabby. Checkout these pictures of moderately bad DVD covers.



More will show up

[criterionmaster]

I think the cover of Troll 2 is amazing, since the film is so-bad-it's-good (assuming, haven't seen), so the cover works. It advertises exactly what it should give you. If I saw that in a store, I would buy it immediately. As for the other two, no, just no.

[sacrilegend]

I see it, Endre, thanks.









I could go on all day, or you could check out this cool thread (all fourteen pages of it). All I don't agree with is the addition of Vertigo.

[kiddo]

I didn't think the two last was that bad, really. Pretty cool, I would say, in a "funny kind of way" (Fargo, anyone?).

[sacrilegend]

Black Mama, White Mama was funny. The last one made me sad. How is it funny?

[kiddo]

The blue sky, the blue water, the blue EYES!