Grade the last book you read.

[mixed]

Loved some characters, became bored with others. Shame, I certainly put it down reluctantly and I was quite far in.

[sacrilegend]

Still Life With Woodpecker
Tom Robbins

Still Life With Woodpecker is the third novel by Tom Robbins, concerning the love affair between an environmentalist princess and an outlaw. As with most of Robbins' books, it encompasses a broad range of topics, from aliens and redheads to consumerism, the building of bombs, romance, royalty, the moon, and a pack of Camels. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Still_Life_with_Woodpecker

Still Life with Woodpecker is sort of a love story that takes place inside a pack of Camel cigarettes. It reveals the purpose of the moon, explains the difference between criminals and outlaws, examines the conflict between social activism and romantic individualism, and paints a portrait of contemporary society that includes powerful Arabs, exiled royalty, and pregnant cheerleaders. It also deals with the problem of redheads.

'Tom Robbins has a grasp on things that dazzles the brain and he's also a world-class storyteller' - Thomas Pynchon
This probably Robbins' most direct book he has ever written, posing questions and theories abotu the moon, pyramids, a love of inanimate objects, how to make love stay and too many more interesting things. Usign an extremely orgasmic

Some Popular Quotes
- I sense that the novel of my dreams is in the Remington SL3 - although it writes much faster than I can spell.
- This baby (the Remington SL3 typewriter) speaks electric Shakespeare at the slightest provocation and will rap out a page and a half if you just look at it hard.
- There is a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like a part of the act.
- Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
- Her surname resembled a line from an optometrist's examination chart.
- Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem.
- Hawaii made the mouth of her soul water.
- They'd be no threat to me. I have a black belt in Haiku. And a black vest in the cleaners.
- There are essential and inessential insanities. The latter are solar in character, the former are linked to the moon.
- Sharks are the criminals of the sea. Dolphins are the outlaws.
- She lunched on papaya poo poo or mango mu mu or some other fruity foo foo bursting with overripe tropican vowels.
- There are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.
- He looked at her with that kind of painted-on seriousness that comedians shift into when they get their chance to play Hamlet.
- The man and woman firmly shook hands. The solution to the overpopulation problem might rest in such handshakes.
- A better world has gotta start somewhere. Why not with you and me?
- If you're honest, you sooner or later have to confront your values. Then you're forced to separate what is right from what is merely legal. This puts you metaphysically on the run. America is full of metaphysical outlaws.
- They snuggled closer, and when they were as close as they could get without being behind one another, they commenced to kiss again.
- This stuff's so fine Julius Caesar called for it with his dying breath. 'A toot, Brutus,' is what he said.
- Something has got to hold it together. I'm saying my prayers to Elmer, the Greek god of glue.
- "I'll follow him to the ends of the earth," she sobbed. Yes, darling. But the earth doesn't have any ends. Columbus fixed that.
- A rabbi's dog could score pork chops in the streets of Tel Aviv easier than Bernard could acquire tequila in King County Jail.
- She tried out the chamber pot, although she really had nothing to contribute.
- Any half-awake materialist well knows - that which you hold holds you.
- The first time that she spread her legs for him it had been like opening her jaws for the dentist.
- Funny how we think of romance as always involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense.
- I'll never write another novel on an electric typewriter. I'd rather use a sharp stick and a little pile of dogshit.
- It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
- Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not. Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end. Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
- If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid— but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself.
- My favourite: Now, tequila may be the favoured beverage of outlaws, but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably had betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!

From the epilogue:
Yes, this is the book that revealed the purpose of the moon. And while it may not have disclosed exactly what happened to the golden ball, it stated plainly why the question needed to be raised.
Objecthood was by no means our only major theme. There was, for example, the matter of the evolution of the individual, how evolving is not accomplished for a person of nature or society but is the central dimension of a personal drama to which nature and society are but spectators. Wasn't it made clear that civilization is not an end in itself but a theater or gymnasium in which the evolving individual finds facilities for practice?

Characters in "Still Life with Woodpecker"
Max – the deposed king, former gambler, sports fanatic, enemy of blackberry brambles, father of Leigh-Cheri
Leigh-Cheri – the former princess, idealistic, loves the environment, Ralph Nader, and eventually, Bernard
Queen Tilli – the former Queen, silly and simple, she listens to opera and plays with her dog. Her favorite Americanism is "oh-oh, spaghetti-o".
Gulietta – the non-English-speaking maid, cocaine addict, the secret heir to the kingdom
Bernard – the "Woodpecker", he is somewhat of an anarchist, a self proclaimed outlaw, and blows up buildings; his mantra is "Yum."

[criterionmaster]

"conversations with peter bogdanovich" 8/10

a solid read, definitely, the problem is it was waaay too short, i wished it would have lasted longer. it was also a nice look at the dude before he went down high. he said SOO many good things about film and other things, that i may just list a bunch of quotes from the book, after i make a director thread for him. i love listening to him talk, he is truly a great film fan.

[mixed]

Night Shift - Stephen King

Some of the stories in this short are excellent and none of them are particularly repellant or dull. I did skip over the one about vampires though, they don't interest me in the least. For anyone else thats read the book and knows the tales my favourites were probably Sometimes they come back, last rung on the ladder, I know what you need and others whose names I forget. Good stuff and amazing how fleshed out something of 20 or less pages King can create.

8/10

[wkw]

I read that a couple of years ago and enjoyed it, though i don't remember most of the stories. I did like the stories "Quitters Inc." and "The Boogeyman", and "Battleground".

[mixed]

Ah yes i also like quitters, that was great

[captainofbeef]

Beach reads:

The Broker- John Grisham
3/10
Disappointing, too much time spent doing nothing and too little time of actual action. The lying around was bearable for me only because it was set in Italy. Grisham should stick to lawyers, I read Ludlum for stories of espionage. Its poorly plotted, poorly written, and it feels rushed.

Death of A Salesman by Arthur Miller
6/10
Dull, boring, not much else to say about this book. It is much better on the stage, where the words actually come to life.

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
10/10
A masterpiece, Kafka can say more in fifty pages than most can say in five hundred. It is exceedingly simple, but the commentary behind the words is spectacular. I must dig further into this writer.

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston
8/10
An interesting nonfiction read about viruses. It is quite remarkable to read about how dangerous these deadly diseases could be if they were unleashed on the population of the world. It got a little tedious at the end, but overall, I was entertained.

Blaze by Richard Bachman (aka Stephen King)
6/10
Disappointing, but after all, it is a trunk novel. It had some good moments (most King books do) and the main character was very developed. But I felt that everything happening to Blaisdell was too unbelievable and it almost felt ridiculous at the end.

To the Nines by Janet Evanovich
7/10
An entertaining beach read, no more, no less. The family in the book is just like mine and every time they join for dinner, I burst out laughing at the banter. The story this time was a little dry and their was too little of the family, it was easily the worst of the series so far. But I can't wait to read ten.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
9/10
Clearly a classic for a reason, it is brilliantly developed, well plotted, the wording is immaculate, and the last two hundred pages fly by. Remarkable for a book written in the 1800's. It is really too bad the first hundred pages plod by so slowly.

Beach Road by James Patterson
3/10
The man is awful, exceedingly simple and the "shocking" revelation at the end was very easy to see coming. He proves that America has bad taste in books.

Lake Wobegone Days by Garrison Keillor (re-read)
10/10
One of my favorite books of all time. He is just so witty, Keillor has a way with words that no one else does. The entire fake history of the town is spellbinding, heartfelt, and very funny.

[mixed]

Yeah whats with the James Patterson fan club? Seriously JK Rowling has better writing skill. Patterson books should be labelled for ages 8-11, insulting simplistic duldrum

[captainofbeef]

Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
10/10
Probably my favorite Vonnegut book. His total genius is exhibited here and writing himself into his own book is an awesome move that Stephen King would later adopt. A total masterpiece

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (re-read)
8/10
Better than I remembered it being for sure. The writing is really simple (it is a children's book after all) and there are some passages (mainly the one regarding Voldemort's past) that could have been shortened. But overall, it was a fun read and that is all that matters.

Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich
9/10
Probably the best Stephanie Plum book so far.

[captainofbeef]

Eleven on Top by Janet Evanovich
7/10
Same as the rest. Funny, quick, and forgettable.

Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich
8/10
See above review.

[captainofbeef]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
10/10
Easily the best of the Potter books. Far darker and better written than the previous books, it seems as if Rowling has written this book for adults rather than children. The series comes to a satisfying close in my opinion.

[malicious32dll]

captainofbeef said:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
10/10
Easily the best of the Potter books. Far darker and better written than the previous books, it seems as if Rowling has written this book for adults rather than children. The series comes to a satisfying close in my opinion.

baconly

[BarrSnacks]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

10/10

It was my favorite of the series by far. I was very satisfied with the ending. It was much darker and also better written like beef said.

[misterbalco]

Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes From The American Underground 1981-1991 10+/10

I hadnt heard shit from 10 of the 13 bands talked about in this book, but I really want to hear from all. Great fantastic book.

[criterionmaster]

i may have to check that one out!

[mixed]

The Sleeping Doll - Jeffery Deaver

Ok, another Deaver book, my second this year.

A criminal into the family making methods of Charles Manson escapes from prison. Quadriplegic mastermind Lincoln Rhyme, the centrifugal character of many of Deavers most successful works is dropped and this story follows new character Katherine Dance. She is a Kinesics expert and it is up to her to lead the california bureau of investigation to fruition.

Naturally, I was wary about beginning this new book. The characters Deaver has previously spent so much time writing about are so well realised and strongly personified, even side characters, that I wondered how starting from scratch, well, not entirely, Katherine Dance had a cameo in the last 'Rhyme' book would work out. Initially it is difficult but once we get about mid way through the book and hear more about these characters, Deaver has this great and subtle way of telling us about the characters, all is fine. Katherine Dance is a worthy successor and all the kinescis speak is fascinating and refreshing from all the physical evidence speak of previous novels.

As always, the twists are laid on thick. As with many a Deaver story, the criminal gets away a few times and this does get frustrating. Yet the reasons for escape are always plausible and clever. The book, as all Deaver books do, spends about equal time inside th ekillers head and the police operatives heads. A perfect technique I think.

To conclude I think this is better than the previous book, 'cold moon' and the new characters certainly has legs and is a refreshing change to what has come before. It has more viciousness than the last book, which is very much more satisfying than the 'oh no, the killer got away again and didn't get to kill Peggy Sue' type stuff that seemed to happen each time in the last Deaver novel. Anyway. Its good stuff and everybody, somebody at least, should check it out. Deaver is easy yet intelligent entertainment!

9/10

[BarrSnacks]

I just finished 1984 for summer reading and I liked it a lot (first time reading it).
10/10

[captainofbeef]

^Yea, I just re-read that as well. One of my favorite books ever. It is amazing that the book was written in 1949 yet made so many accurate predictions on what life today would be like.

[captainofbeef]

The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini (re-read)
10/10
Had to read it again for school. Totally love it, I think it is one of the best books of the modern era.

[sacrilegend]

Life of Pi
Yann Martel
10/10
Gripping, interesting, evokes quite an array of feelings in me.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
JK Rowling
9/10
A simply wonderfully amazing book, but that last point is lost due to the sickly sweetly soppy ending. God.

The Book of Laughter and Forgetting
Milan Kundera (I seriously recommend Milan Kundera to fucking EVERYBODY)
10/10
Amazing.

Laughable Loves
Milan Kundera
10/10
Funny, sharp, inventive, insightful.

[captainofbeef]

^Life of Pi is one of the best books of the past ten years....

[sacrilegend]

It was so frigging awesometastic!

[mixed]

The Catcher in the Rye - J.D Salinger

Alright, so I had basically no idea of what this would be about. In my head, assumptions from the title, I thought something about old black farmers in cornfields and racist elements.....

Yes I was very wrong! If you don't know, the book follows and is narrated by Holden Caulfield and is about the days he spends after he is kicked out of his school.

People say that the book is ultimately pointless. Yet I don't think it is and anyone should see that its a wonderful insight into a disillusioned and wayward teenagers life. The prose is fantastic and very funny. The book is certainly not meaningless. Sometimes the dialogue and various phrases are used too often but this normally doesn't matter because its such colourful and fitting 'in the context' language.

Also, it feels very modern for a book first published in1945 in magazine serial form, book published in 1951.

I loved it and will only doc it a point for minor repetition. 9/10

[wkw]

Wong Kar-wai (Contemporary Film Directors) - 8/10

A very good analysis of his films up to the Cannes cut of 2046. It gives some very interesting insight to the relationships between the themes, techniques, and historical and political context of the films. I especially loved the dissection of In the Mood for Love, which reveals some of the things that make it his most mature, complex, and profound work. The books draws a lot of info from previous critical commentary. The analysis for some of his films lacked depth and any discussion of his work relating to HK cinema in general. Also included are two interviews with the director. I need to read Stephen Teo's book on Wong, which is supposed to be much better.

[captainofbeef]

The Brethren by John Grisham
7/10
A well paced piece of political fiction that passed the time well. Some interesting characters and a very unique plot line. Fell a bit flat at the end and some subplots weren't needed. But overall, it was a fairly decent book.

[dontdigonswine]

Catcher in the Rye- 8/10

[captainofbeef]

Reversible Errors by Scott Turow
5/10
Pretty bad book. Story line was completely uninteresting and it never really reeled me in. The characters never resonated either and too many plot lines entered and left without being solved. Overall, pretty much a waste of time.

[captainofbeef]

Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
10/10
Pure excellence in a way only Vonnegut could provide. I think I have found a new favorite writer...

[BarrSnacks]

The Kite Runner
10/10

I had to read it for english and usually it sucks when you are forced to read a book (even though I had been wanting to read it), but I thought it was .

[slapshot63]

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - 9/10

The perfect way to end this series and a damn great book to boot.