Transformers (2007)

[lordofdance]

Michael Bay & Movie Magic: Can they come together as a satisying and/or believable whole? With the release of Transformers, I think that I might be able to answer "Yes" to this question. Not a resounding "Yes", mind you, or a "Yes" that I may admit to a year from now, but there is some kind of affirmitive thrust to my assertion.

Transformers is two movies, really. There's the Michael Bay movie, which plays a lot like a cheesy United States military recruitment video, and then there's the actual Transformers movie. Now, the two do get combined a few times, because the Michael Bay virus is powerful and corrupts all things, but not enough to make this movie what one might call "bad", at least in the Pearl Harbor/Armageddon sense of the word.

I think I owned one Transformer toy in my entire life, so I wouldn't call myself a big fan. I am familiar enough with the characters, though, to be enthusiastic about seeing them brought to life on the big screen. There aren't too many special effects extravaganzas that excite me anymore, but the youthful spark within me does allow for the occasional feeling of wonder to creep in. I fully admit to experiencing a deep, emotional tingle when Optimus Prime first spoke and I realized that he was realer than any comic book or cartoon show ever could portray him. Sure, Jurassic Park inspired a little awe back in the day, but I'll be damned if the T-Rex could transform into a tank.

I'm not saying that I totally agree with how the Transformer characters were handled, though. There wasn't much character development, and there's a slapsticky segment that goes on too long that could have been used to flesh the characters out better instead. At least 50% of the movie is humorous in tone, so I felt that the time spent showing Optimus and his gang bumbling around was wasted. The character Jazz, for example gets so little introduction or time to stand out as a character that I forgot that he even existed until the end. The dramatic impact of the big final battle was diminshed because I didn't really know much about anybody except for Optimist and the human characters. The movie is called Transformers, after all, so the Transformers should have been more distinguishable. Hell, even Megatron, the supposed badass of the movie, doesn't get much screen time or make much of an impression. He's a villain, I could tell that much, but not much more.

Speaking of humor, I would have to say that Transformers managed to maintain a stupid sort of fun overall. Some of the jokes were pretty funny, if not cutting edge or even remotely original. The human characters were likable for the most part, even though the ridiculously hot girl in the movie lacks much charisma or personality. Whatever character depth she has is explained and forgotten pretty quick, so her character is functional to the plot and not much more. John Turturro plays a typical clueless-government-egghead-wacko type that starts out amusing but becomes irritating pretty quick, but it could have been much worse, I'm sure. There are some comedy moments involving the evil spy robots that reminded me way too much of Star Wars Episode I-III which should not have been in the movie at all. Bad, bad decision.

Anyway, the Transformers portion isn't too bad at all. My biggest problem with the movie is that I was occasionally reminded that Michael Bay was directing it. Slow motion. Military propaganda-style scenes. Slow motion. I can deal with the bombastic action stuff, but Bay needs to drop some of his other signature stylistic flourishes and move on.

*** out of *****

This movie blows Armageddon into itsy bitsy pieces and redeems Bay a little bit for making Pearl Harbor. Transformers could have been way worse, and some of it is actually good. Some.

[dontdigonswine]

I saw this again, trying to possibly accept this film's even existing. I did end up finding something amusing to concentrate on to help me get through it. This movie is literally Bad Boys + Armageddon, except with giant shifting robots. Its dialogue and direction is every single thing that Hot Fuzz makes fun of, except not funny. If you listen closely, behind repeated lines like "Bring the rain" and "No sacrifice, no victory", I swear you can hear Michael Bay telling us to say "Wow that is badass." But it isn't. It is unoriginal and just plain idiotic screenwriting. The characters are ridiculous. It is a waste of time to even introduce such empty characters when they are such sour carbon copies of other characters you've seen in so many bad blockbusters. Soldier wants to hold his baby for the first time. Teenager falls in love with dream girl, but then finds out she has a criminal record. Who cares at all? The fact that Bay even concentrates for even a second on these characters' histories makes me shake my head in frustration. I honestly thought that the best character in the movie was John Turturro's, pretty much for the singular reason that he is John Turturro. Anthony Anderson is there because they need a funny black guy. Tyrese Gibson is there because they need someone to yell badass things as a battle ensues. In a way, every single character exists simply for us to respond to them in some momentary artificial way. Whether it is to root for them, hate them, laugh at them, or stand in awe of them. It completely takes one out of being involved in a movie at all, and if it wasn't for the booming sound system of the theatre, I would be bored to tears. If the only people who like it are macho men who enjoy nutting in their underwear while watching the new Camaro and other shiny vehicles transform into giant men, then cool. But it is no different than pornography. And although it is no business of mine to judge other people's "opinions," I honestly think if you like this for a "good movie", you are an idiot.

[lordofdance]

Your assessment of this movie is somewhat extreme. To call it Armageddon+Bad Boys is just ridiculous. Those movies were considerably more macho and obnoxious than this movie could ever hope to be, but it appears that you are so blinded by a self-righteous hatred for Michael Bay that you are incapable of seeing any distinction. The movie just isn't that bad. Though I agree that the superficial character development was troublesome, Transformers zipped along so amiably that I didn't care that much. That whole "macho men nutting in their underwear" comment is just a bunch of bullshit. And your pornography comment is just plain dumb. Are you so obsessed with taking the cultural high ground that you need to make such obnoxious claims? Does any hint of testosterone frighten your delicate sensibilities? This is not Armageddon or Bad Boys. It's just not. Have you even seen those movies? Or are you so highly evolved that they all the just blur together in your mind? There really isn't that much trash talk or macho behavior in Transformers compared to most things Michael Bay has done. It's actually pretty restrained.

I'm not one to champion the work of Michael Bay, but Transformers entertained me in a "check your brain in at the door combined with nostalgia" sort of way. I don't even like cars or movies with cars in them particularly. It's not like I declared "Yeeeeahhhh, this mooovie fuuuuccckkkinnn' rocks yeahhhhhh! High five, bro!" No, I just said it was an enjoyable time with numerous flaws. Your outrage at my review indicates to me (A) You have an overriding resentment against testerone and/or (B) You're a cultural elitist snob wannabe that has to make it known to the whole world that you find these movies icky. Personally, I don't give a shit what you think of my intellectual capacity for liking this movie, but your response is the rantings of a jackass. You can flatly judge all the movies you want like a cinematic sourpuss with something to prove, but occasionally I JUST WANT TO SIT BACK AND BE ENTERTAINED BY A BIG, DUMB ACTION MOVIE WITHOUT SOME BLOWHARD CRITICIZING MY OPINION!!!! Fine, you're just too sophisticated for Transformers. It has been noted. Maybe I'll go whack off to a Camaro now.

[dontdigonswine]

I was not critiquing your review at all. This was just the first place I thought of to put my thoughts, and it happened to be on your thread. I apologize if it came off as an attack towards you at all (it appears as if you took it that way). My assessment on my second viewing had much LESS of a negative response than my first viewing. It is not the testosterone that angers me (I loved Live Free or Die Hard). It is the fact that it appears in every single one of his movies, and in each and every instance being flat-out lame. I really can't think of another word for it. He reuses the same "testosterone"-fueled garbage that he sees in other movies, and in the same methodical way. I am flat-out done criticizing any Michael Bay ever again, if that makes you happy. With my second viewing of Transformers, I learned to accept that he is even a director and that Transformers even exists. I've heard the comparisons of action-filled blockbusters to junk food, and movies with a purpose other than to entertain to a three course meal. Well, Transformers seemed like an excess of bad tasting junk food (to me). And this is one chef I'm never giving another chance again.

[lordofdance]

And although it is no business of mine to judge other people's "opinions," I honestly think if you like this for a "good movie", you are an idiot.

It's hard not to take it personally when you say something like that. I kind of said the movie was good, so that makes me kind of an idiot.

But anyway, I have no problem with people having different opinions than mine at all. Everybody takes something different from movies. But throwing around words like "idiot" doesn't cut it. You mentioned that Hot Fuzz makes fun of these types of movies, but Hot Fuzz wouldn't exist without them. There is a time and place for crap like Transformers, and my time and place was a couple of days ago at the movie theatre. I do not regret the experience. I am not a Michael Bay fan, or defender. I just happen to get some enjoyment from one of his movies (Transformers).

It's too bad Transformers has to be the straw that broke the camel's back for you. Armageddon, Pearl Harbor or Bad Boys 2 would have been better choices, I feel. I like crappy Action movies from the 80's precisely because of their crappiness, and I'm sure there were people calling that stuff pornography at the time. Maybe some of it is. But Transformers? There's gotta be better examples.

[dontdigonswine]

Well, that review was originally posted on another site, a site that doesn't take movie criticizing as seriously (Facebook), and it was primarily in reaction to a bunch of people calling it the best movie ever made. I should have revised my review before people who do take movies as seriously as I do get offended, but it seems as if I'm too late. I know what you mean by saying Hot Fuzz wouldn't exist without these terrible action movies, but the best parts of Hot Fuzz are when you know they aren't taking themselves seriously and are simply having fun. None of Michael Bay's films come off in that way. They take themselves so seriously, that I do not feel ashamed to bash the hell out of them. Campy testosterone-filled action movies are completely different, imo. They do not take themselves seriously at all, hence the campiness. Just like I said before, I could ignore most of Michael Bay's movies before (besides Armageddon), because for the most part, the hype wasn't too big to inspire too many conversations. But now that he has pretty much the biggest movie of the summer, I really had to accept his existence. And now I do, for better or for worse.

[malicious32dll]

Try not to forget that Hot Fuzz actually turns into one of those crazy action movies too in the end...

Anyways, yea, I have nothing to contribute to the thread. So I figured I'd make an appearance. Hello, I hope to see the movie soon... hai2u.

[PTAhole]

Yeah, but Hot Fuzz is making fun of those kind of movies.
Anyway, I'm not a big Transformers fan, nor am I a big Michael Bay fan, but because of the decent reviews, I might check it out at the discount theater or rent it.

[criterionmaster]

my parents and brother went to see the film, and they enjoyed it, but they aren't too critical, my dad knew when he was going in for and what he was going to get and that is what he got. i wouldn't mind seeing something like this someday.

though, to comment the whole debate, i actually feel that films are most funny when they are so bad, yet take themselves seriously, and don't know they are trying to be bad. i mean, wouldn't you agree? it is partly the reason why something like a spoof or something doesn't always work, because it knows it is funny, and the audience can feel that. so, i bet in like ten years people will look at bay's work and be laughing at it. by the way, have you seen the rock, dontdigonswine?

[Clark Nova]

criterionmaster said:

my parents and brother went to see the film, and they enjoyed it, but they aren't too critical, my dad knew when he was going in for and what he was going to get and that is what he got. i wouldn't mind seeing something like this someday.

though, to comment the whole debate, i actually feel that films are most funny when they are so bad, yet take themselves seriously, and don't know they are trying to be bad. i mean, wouldn't you agree? it is partly the reason why something like a spoof or something doesn't always work, because it knows it is funny, and the audience can feel that. so, i bet in like ten years people will look at bay's work and be laughing at it. by the way, have you seen the rock, dontdigonswine?

exactly. That's why Slim Pickens was so damn funny in Dr. Strangelove. He didn't know the movie was a comedy, so he did it straight-faced. Comedy's always funniest when the characters don't know they're funny.

[dontdigonswine]

I know what you mean about comedy in that way, but Transformers has so much intentionally funny parts that aren't funny that I just couldn't seem to laugh at the non-intentionally funny but terrible parts, if that makes any sense. I did laugh at one line in particular though, that was so terrible that I would have felt bad not responding to it at all: "Wait! If I never see you again, I want you to know, I'm glad I got in your car that day." I've seen parts of The Rock, criterionmaster, and I've heard that it is Bay's best film, which really makes me stoked for seeing it! But yeah, I'll probably see eventually, it just isn't at the top of my queue.

[lordofdance]

Unintentional humor is the best kind, usually. In the case of Transformers, I'll be honest and admit that the intentional humor worked for me. When I watch a Michael Bay movie, I pretty much expect to be hit with overly-serious-for-the-subject-matter nonsense or humor that's too obnoxious to enjoy. Transformers really didn't offend too much either way. It just kind of went by pleasantly, for the most part. Transformers doesn't qualify for so-bad-it's-good, but rather it's just good enough to be mildly entertaining. It's terribly superficial, but it zipped by without hurting my IQ too much.

As for the Rock, I would have to agree that it's not too bad. My only problem with it was that the villain had a noble (though totally misguided) cause of sorts, which diminished his menace. I would have preferred that he was diabolically, insanely evil. But that's just me.

Anyway, either Transformers will work on some level for you or it won't. It's not even close to the greatest movie ever made. It passes the time and creates a tiny bit of joy, at least for me. Maybe it is some insidious threat to our culture, but the way I look at is- If the viewer doesn't just limit him/herself to these types of movies, but rather consumes them responsibility and knows how to apprciate some forms of "higher art", then I don't see the harm.

[slapshot63]

Transformers aren’t anything that I was ever particularly interested in. Maybe it was before my time or some other reason, but I never caught on to the phenomena. The idea of “robots in disguise” never gelled with me and I just never saw what was so great about the toys. That said, I loved this movie. No, it isn’t perfect but it is very entertaining and that’s what summer movies are about.

The plot is paper-thin and really doesn’t come into play until the last 45 minutes or so of the movie. Oh sure, we’re reminded of a map and the cube, but they essentially take a backseat to the action set pieces. But one of the biggest surprises of this film is that Michael Bay has achieved the unthinkable: he's directed a crushingly entertaining movie. Bay is (very) often lambasted by any and everyone because he doesn’t particularly make good movies. They may be entertaining, but they just aren’t good. But Transformers was a movie that Bay was born to make. It’s mindless entertainment that is supposed to be that way, so his wonderful visual flair and keen eye for action are a perfect blend with the all out action that is Transformers.

Even though it runs 140 minutes, Transformers never runs out of juice, saving an eye-opening amount of rocket sauce for the final battle between good vs. evil. Audience members who are more accustomed to Bay’s penchant for loud, exhilarating explosions and action will be delighted to see the film finally go completely bonkers, wrecking entire Los Angeles city blocks and skyscrapers, killing beloved characters, and in general smashing anything that dares stand in the way. It also means a true payoff of both the seamless special effects and the Transformer design, as the Autobots and the Decepticons go medieval on each other with a thundering PG-13-bending rage. It's the kind of mayhem that a 12-year-old boy's dreams are made of, and makes for a comfortably numb viewing experience that takes a worthwhile leap of bonehead faith to fully embrace.

Bay also ropes off some space for the human factor, using Sam as a spacer in-between scenes of special effects brawling with other special effects. While LeBeouf is doing his habitual LeBeouf stammering square dance in the film, his teen distress is welcome amidst all of the intricate visual splendor, playing well off Fox and the macho military militia (a Bay staple) that swarms in the latter half of the film. The "flesh-based organisms" are here to keep the picture light and approachable, and it's amazing how well these limited actors are able to accomplish that.

One thing that has to be mentioned about this film is the magnificent CGI. The machines themselves are a sight to behold and this film is sure to win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects next year. The seamless blending of CGI characters with practical effects is simple amazing. Nothing ever looks out of place and its all so convincing that it’s very easy to forget that you are looking at CGI creations. There’ some really amazing shit here.

I don’t have a ton of complaints about this movie and the ones I do have a pretty minimal. One thing was the music. It wasn’t bad, but it just sounded so much like the score of Batman Begins and Pirates of The Caribbean had a love child. I could have sworn it was Hans Zimmer that scored this movie. Come to find out, the guy who did worked on the first Pirates so maybe that had something to do with it. The second complaint has to do with music too, but not with the score. I think that Michael Bay is sleeping with Linkin Park because their song, “What I’ve Done” was used like twice in the movie and then again in the credits (though to be fair, the second time it is used it leads into the credits). At the end when it is used, it just feels so out of place. It would’ve been so much better and that scene would have bee so much more effective had they used the score and not that song. It’s a minor quibble but it stuck out to me.

Transformers is a balls to the wall action movie 100% of the way through. It doesn’t strive to be anything else and it succeeds wonderfully. Critically, it probably isn’t the greatest movie ever but with a movie this much fun, it’s hard not to like this movie despite its problems.

4/5

[winterhat]

it's exactly what it is supposed to be and it hits it's target audience with a sledge hammer.

don't go with your shoulders hung in disgust because you hate bay....just so that you can critique it....

go if you want non-stop excitement, INCREDIBLE visuals, and pure mindless fun.

9/10

(i had it at 8.5/10, but gave it another .5 just for bay putting that girl in as lead actress)

[malicious32dll]

Just saw it, crazy shit blowing up. That guy up there brought about an interesting point, he said something like "it was like pornography".. Interesting. Thats pretty much what summer blockbusters are. They're pretty much disaster porn. Thats kinda why people watch WWE... I don't even care, I just couldn't get over comparing it to the likes of I robot due to the insane amounts of in camera advertising... Man, fucking Chevrolet must've payed Bay off halve way through production and they had to think of an excuse to get the Camero "pimped out". Hell, at one point in the movie I thought there was a mistake seeing as how I saw the familiar deserted desert with a sleek car driving through it on an empty road, of course spotless and in perfect condition. I actually thought there was a mistake in the projector room for a minute. Whatever, I really don't care too much, I'm going to go off and look for a torrent of 1408, oh yea, most of you didn't see it tis a shame. I still don't really like this bay characters style kinda like how I hated it in "the island" too. Well, guess its just not my bag. I really enjoyed the cg and the lack of curse words though. Swearing is bad. And most of your young ears cant deal with it, its ok. Now that you have all heard my opinion, you can begin adopting it because... well, you know.

In the words of the C-master; "Its the best"

EDIT: ZOMG THAT GUY ABOVE ME APPEARS TO HAVE A SHIRTLESS WOMAN IN HIS AVATAR! TO THE GAS CHAMBER!